At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
