i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
