i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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