Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
the night ended with taco bell and tears
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Bang-toberfest begins!!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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