I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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