i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
