Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
