Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
my being single is dangerous.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
