He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
