i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
