Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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