When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
