i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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