every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
