I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize