I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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