She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
