okay pat passed out under dana's car
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
