im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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