Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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