Umm I'm too high to move.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
