Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize