hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
