you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
