he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
