please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
