That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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