I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
His nipple licking is glorious
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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