maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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