Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
