My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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