She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
