I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My cat gives me a boner
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
