yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
