Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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