can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
