I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
