you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
