it was like his penis was on wheels.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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