i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
