Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
my shit smells like andre
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
