I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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