I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize