Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Boobs speak an international language.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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