I bet he comes in French.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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