dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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