Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
