Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
