Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
