At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
