Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
