I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
