I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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