the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
there is puke in my bra ... again
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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