Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
