Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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