I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
