I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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