just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
