i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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