What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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