To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize