Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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