I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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