Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
