and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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