The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
