I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize