I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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