Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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