Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
