John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
